Make New Friends
Even if you have a healthy and active community of friends and family after retiring, you need more. Most people find that their community dwindles after retirement. Maybe the friends from work no longer relate the way they used to. Maybe you never developed friendships because of work and family responsibilities. It doesn’t matter the reason. If you don’t have a community of friends and family in retirement then build one. Start by asking yourself who you would like to be part of your community and them plan your life to make room for them. Ask yourself three questions:
1. Who are they?
2. What do they like to do?
3. How can you rearrange your life to make room for the things they like – and them?
They can be a grandchild, someone you know distantly or people you don’t know at all but once you identity them then you discover what they like to to and start doing it. Include the activities that they like into your life so that there is a natural place for you to interact. Then offer to share the things you like to do with them. Doing things that you both enjoy makes a natural way to develop a relationship and even a friendship.
Don’t to remember:
- Don’t expect them to decide they want to spend time with you and take the first action. They won’t.
- Don’t invite them to do things that you like – unless you know that they like it too.
- Don’t wait for them to reach out to you.
- If the chemistry isn’t there, don’t push– move on to someone else.
- Don’t focus on one person.
You are the person in charge and you must be active and positive. Make yourself into the kind of person that the people you want to relate to like by doing the things they like to do and offering to share with them. Don’t be a wallflower hoping to be recognized. It won’t happen. If you do all the right things and it still just doesn’t happen, then move on. There are other people worth forming relationships with and no reason to limit yourself.
What would you do to be able to spend more time with them?