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Give Yourself Permission … to Have More

How much do you think you deserve?

the Lamborghini logotype

Image via Wikipedia

There is another set of barriers we impose on our lives. Growing up we learn what we deserve in life. It is not our decision. Most of us just accept what we are told. Somehow we absorb this from our environment, our parents, our community, our culture. We decide what fits and what doesn’t and we become very uncomfortable even thinking about going beyond that level. Those boundaries define us in profound ways and influence decisions that establish our lifestyle. It doesn’t build on what we want from life. Instead it limits what we allow ourselves to do. There is a norm that imposes itself on most everybody about what is acceptable and about what is too much.

We are taught to conform.

Growing up in America today, most people don’t have a problem defining a basic standard of living. We all pretty much expect to have a lifestyle that would be affluent anyplace else in the world. The problem is that we are unwilling to embrace the idea that it is alright to want more. More could be anything from a fancy car to a stash of cash that allows us to donate to a favorite charity. It doesn’t so much matter what it is, most of us question the idea that we deserve to have more than everybody else.

There is no logic to limiting your desires; no reason that you should be happy with average or normal. Is there any reason you don’t deserve a Lamborghini? Or a loving family life or a respectful boss- or no boss at all? Yet we resist the idea that doing anything to reach a better state is the right thing to do because all around us people accept average.

Who do we think we are…

to want more? is the question we are afraid to answer. Nobody is willing to say “Yes, I deserve more and I’m willing to do what it takes to get it.” There is no reason at all why you deserve anything less than what will make you happy. Then why is it that that you make excuses for not having them? Two reasons!

 Number One

First, you would have to exert yourself to get those things. Lamborghini’s don’t just fall off trees and earning the money to buy one will require effort. You will have to push yourself to a higher level of activity or performance to earn one. And even more troubling, you might fail. (We have talked about failure before.)

Number Two

Second you will have to convince yourself that you actually deserve to have one. Who do you think you are? What makes you think you are so special? All our lives we hear those questions, urging s to settle for the same stuff that everybody else is satisfied with. After years it isn’t surprising that we settle for ordinary because we don’t know how to justify wanting more because we aren’t worth it.

So we are trapped by fear of failure and inability to accept that you deserve whatever will make you happy and are willing to work for.

Don’t buy into it!

Risk a little. Desire and yes, demand more from yourself and the world. And then go out and earn it.

 

 

 

 

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Retirement Advice: Know what’s important.

1920s Stetson carlsbad cowboy hat
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Hats off to Joan

I rail about the benefits of blogging for ‘mature’ people “Why do I rail?” you ask. If you have followed me for a while you know that it is just what I do but there is reasoning behind it. Blogging or reading blogs is a good way to get your thinking right or to understand the thinking of other people. If you don’t have anything to say yourself then you should be reading the blogs of people who do. I can’t tell you how much I have learned about life from connecting with other people through their blogs. Through their thoughtful posts I can learn how they approach life and make real decisions. I like to think that each of us should make our lives extraordinary (sometimes I say outrageous) but it is hard to do because society wants us to be responsible and cautious. I think that you need to do things that you will remember all your days with great pleasure instead of not doing them and regretting what you could have done. One of the bloggers I read regularly did just that and she shared her decision process with her readers. Joan looked at her choices and rejected conventional wisdom. Joan decided to be outrageous. [continue reading…]

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