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Don’t Fear Failure- Embrace It!

Don't be cowardly.  Don't fear failure.  Embrace it

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Is failure bad?

One bad lesson, foisted on us early in life is to fear failure. This is a natural response because to most people failure means not accomplishing your task or reaching your goal- ever. People who don’t reach their goals are automatically classified as failures. Since nobody wants to be a failure, they make decisions about their lives to avoid failure. Because they do not understand that failure is merely a measurement of accomplishment at any point in time and not a static definition, they make a decision to avoid the possibility of failing– and they cripple themselves. In the process. They let fear of failure rule their lives.

Avoiding Failure can cripple you

They chose easy targets or worse, no targets at all. Their goal is negative- to avoid being a failure rather than positive- aiming for an outrageous outcome. They miss entirely that they have handicapped themselves to small accomplishment by protecting themselves from failure.

Fear of failure is crippling.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to succeed. Anything else would be wrong. But most people fail to understand that failure is how we learn to succeed and without failure success is impossible.  Still, you ask, how can failure be good?   How can failure ever lead me to success? There are two ways that fear of failure can cripple you:   (1) By causing you to set lower goals or (2) worse setting no goals which leaves you stuck with whatever life throws your way.

It is easy to avoid failure. Do noting. But before you take that path, ask yourself how you learned what you already know. Did you always know how to walk? Talk? Did you accomplish those feats with no mistakes or failures? Babies fall down hundreds of times before they master the ability to stand and walk. But we don’t call our babies failures each time they fall. We encourage them to try again and praise them for their progress. Why can’t we be as generous to ourselves?

Or you can avoid failure by setting easy goals that you know you can accomplish. Because you don’t need to push yourself, you don’t make much effort either. You avoid failing but you also stop growing.

Move forward and embrace failure enthusiastically

Bottom line, I believe you need to keep your life  about moving forward. The day you stop learning and striving for higher levels of mastery and accomplishment is they day you die. And you can die mentally and spiritually while your body continues to function. When you fear failure you stop the growing process

{ 16 comments… add one }
  • Bill Murney February 16, 2011, 7:46 am

    Ralph, one of my favourite sayings as always been –

    Those that do, sometimes fail.

    Those that don’t, never ever fail.

    I have failed at many things, on many occasions but being a stubborn bastard keep coming back for more.

    Bill
    Ashton-under-Lyne, UK
    Bill Murney’s last Blog Post ..The Human Camera

  • Ralph February 16, 2011, 8:14 am

    Bill,
    I used to worry a lot about failing. I didn’t fail but neither did I get what I wanted. These days I don’t worry so much. If I don’t get what I want today, then maybe I’ll get there tomorrow- or the next day.

  • Hansi February 16, 2011, 8:42 am

    Ralph…I’ve learned so much through failure, I almost feel I should have a masters degree.
    Along with drawing, I am also a potter, who for 15 years sold my hand thrown ware at craft shows and street fairs. From throwing on the wheel, to grinding my own glazes, to firing the ware in a gas kiln; pottery has always been about learning through failure. If something didn’t come out right, you looked at the results, and made adjustments. Sometimes I even made accidental mistakes that turned out marvelously. had to go back and figure out what I did in order to repeat it. Thanks for your post
    Hansi’s last Blog Post ..Wrestling at the Olympic

    • John McNally@Blogging for Pleasure and Profit February 16, 2011, 9:24 am

      I’ve had accidental mistakes in my paintings Hans, and they sometimes turn out better than I had planned.

      John
      Painting in Leamington Spa, England
      John McNally@Blogging for Pleasure and Profit’s last Blog Post ..Google &amp Alexa TRAFFIC Update

    • Ralph February 16, 2011, 9:29 am

      Hansi,
      Then you know exactly what I mean.

  • John McNally@Blogging for Pleasure and Profit February 16, 2011, 9:02 am

    I almost beleived in synchronicity with this post Ralph, but actually it’s just the zeitgeist.

    I have written a post about Embracing Failure, because I’ve had some major problems with my New Year resolutions. That’s why I think this is the zeitgeist, February is a time when all those good intentions can come crashing down.

    But there’s still another 10 months to get back on track. That’s why I agree with you, we need to embrace failure and carry on aiming for the moon.

    John
    Leamington Spa, England
    John McNally@Blogging for Pleasure and Profit’s last Blog Post ..Google &amp Alexa TRAFFIC Update

    • Ralph February 16, 2011, 9:44 am

      John,
      I like synchronicity almost as much as I like serendipity.

  • Janette February 16, 2011, 2:43 pm

    I was brought up in a very competitive family. I do not do well with failure. It is something I struggle with. You give me things to think about.

    • Ralph February 16, 2011, 3:34 pm

      Janette,
      Don’t think about it as failure. Look at it as a senic detour.

  • Riley Harrison February 24, 2011, 7:34 pm

    Hello Ralph,

    “keep your life about moving forward. The day you stop learning and striving for higher levels of mastery and accomplishment is they day you die.” For me that means insights have to be translated into action and everyone should strive to realize their potential. That for me is the the purpose of existence.

    Riley
    Riley Harrison’s last Blog Post ..GOAL SETTING THAT WORKS part 1

    • Ralph February 25, 2011, 6:21 am

      Riley,
      You are right. Existence is merely marking time. Living is learning every day.

  • Dana March 1, 2011, 6:31 am

    Nice writing! Yeah, avoid the failure will surely lead to failure itself since we will never try.
    Dana’s last Blog Post ..Motorola XOOM Debut on Verizon Wireless

    • Ralph March 1, 2011, 7:55 am

      Dana,
      You are right. Never failing means never doing anything.

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