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Have you ever said “If only…..”?
If you have, how do you feel when you say it?
You feel good, don’t you? The pressure is off. You can relax because a successful life is totally beyond your control. It takes you off the hook. It gives you a pass. It allows you to feel good about yourself even as you wallow in mediocrity. Thank heaven for that phrase because it makes life bearable.. There is only one problem. It’s a big-assed lie invented by mediocre people who have given up the dream of a successful life.
Have you ever heard a successful person say “If only….”?
Of course not. There is no ‘If only…’ for successful people. People creating a successful life only say “How can…”. They don’t accept excuses. If you want success, you shouldn’t either.
What is your ‘If only…’?
So the challenge for today is asking yourself what is the ‘If only…’ in your life? What is the one thing that keeps you from having a successful life? Is it one of these?
If only I had been accepted at Harvard.
If only, I’d gotten that job.
If only I were good looking.
Whatever it is, confront it. Challenge it’s authority. Move right on and ask yourself “How can. I succeed?”
My question for you today is to tell me what is your “If only…”. Then explain how it blocks you from a more successful life. I confess that mine is “If only… I were good with people and knew how to talk to them”.
If only…I was more patient and tolerant. I’m much better than I used to be. But during my business career I didn’t handle silly people and silly decisions well.
Bob Lowry’s last Blog Post ..Senior Lifestyles- Study Says We Are Full of Life
Well…I’ll beat a dead horse…
My “if only” WAS…”If only I didn’t spend my adult life as an active alcoholic I would have [insert almost anything here].
Dealing with an “if only” is a two step process…confrontation and practice. First I had to confront my alcoholism (Step 1: Admitted we were powerless ver our addiction and that our lives were out of control), and then I had to practice…daily, sometimes hourly…the things that helped me stay sober.
So…you have trouble dealing with and talking to people. Go practice doing just that, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you. Go to a mall (shudder) and plan to be there 4-5 hours. There are people there, ya know? Pick out a likely target and strike up a conversation. Then do it again. And again.
Two things will happen…maybe three.
It will get easier. Every time you do it will make the next time you do it easier.
You’ll get better at it..practice, practice, practice, ya know.
Hell Ralph…you might even like it eventually.
Bobs,
My thinking now about ‘If only” is that it is nothing but an excuse not to act. Either you want something or you don’t. If you want something then there is no ‘If only’ you do what it takes. If you will except ‘If only’ then you are not serious.
Ralph@retirement lifestyle’s last Blog Post ..Retirement Wishes-Limericks to inspire you