Brugge Trip Report- The Bad.
Time flies when you are having fun: heck, it flies even when you aren’t. We’ve been back from Belgium two months now and I still haven’t put up a post on my blog.. I guess I could claim that nothing has happened- but that would be a lie. I could say that I’ve been busy which only raises questions about my priorities. Finally I could just give the whole idea of posting on my status a pass and plow forward. I’ve decided to come clean and confess that I’ve got a flaw. I can’t multitask.
Brussells Airport Hell
It’s not the worst flaw I can think of. It doesn’t keep my from chipping away at my to-do list. It just slows me down because I get lost in the weeds when I try to tackle more than one thing at a time. Combine that flaw with an inability to recognize important tasks and give them priority over urgent ones, sometimes a turtle is faster than me. What keeps me from total failure is dogged persistence, my wife calls it bullheadedness. If I start something, I will finish it. Just don’t expect it tomorrow.
I can meet deadlines, pay bills on time, show up for appointments and the like because those deadlines are real and have consequences that I recognize and fear. When it is me that sets the deadlines, those deadlines lose urgency and I have a harder time staying on target (and who is afraid of me?). My inability to stay on target has kept me from posting since returning from the trip and not a lack of interest. [click to continue…]
Tranquil Brugge Belgium
On a one month trip there is a point where I stop being a visitor and start being a resident. I am still a visitor and a tourist- not even remotely a native- but my focus changes. I feel at home. I know where to find food and supplies and where the ATM’s are. I know the main landmarks and can navigate comfortably and keep my bearings while roaming. I don’t need my maps because instead of mysteries around each corner there are places I want to know better. In Brugge, today is that day. [click to continue…]
In three weeks we leave on another trip. This time it’s to Belgium with a two day stop in Istanbul. I’m excited about the trip but I’m also anxious. The reservations are made. There are just a few more details to handle. It ought to be a time for pleasant anticipation as we prepare for an adventure Instead I am anguishing over details and second guessing four readiness for the trip. It won’t stop until our bags are checked at the airport. Until then I can mange the emotions but not eliminate them. Even though I can justify everything in our plan, deep within me there are big questions about the trip. They center on the expense but there is a deeper thread which is much more difficult to dismiss. Something inside me insists emphatically that I don’t deserve to go. I haven’t earned it.
Why am I so anxious?
I’m good at rationalizing decisions and explaining away objections. I can counter each one. I can explain that yes we can afford the trip. I can show how responsible and frugal we are in our retirement lifestyle. I can tell myself that after 50 years working and raising a family, we deserve to indulge ourselves just a little. But it doesn’t really help. The nagging is relentless and I’m not persuading myself. Each doubt and criticism I address is replaced by another. Each point I make is challenged again and again. [click to continue…]