Settling In

Tranquil Brugge Belgium

Tranquil Brugge Belgium

On a one month trip there is a point where I stop being a visitor and start being a resident. I am still a visitor and a tourist- not even remotely a native- but my focus changes. I feel at home. I know where to find food and supplies and where the ATM’s are. I know the main landmarks and can navigate comfortably and keep my bearings while roaming. I don’t need my maps because instead of mysteries around each corner there are places I want to know better. In Brugge, today is that day. [click to continue…]

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Trip Anxiety and Emotional Balance

Our Next One Month Travel trip

In three weeks we leave on another trip. This time it’s to Belgium with a two day stop in Istanbul. I’m excited about the trip but I’m also anxious. The reservations are made. There are just a few more details to handle. It ought to be a time for pleasant anticipation as we prepare for an adventure Instead I am anguishing over details and second guessing four readiness for the trip. It won’t stop until our bags are checked at the airport. Until then I can mange the emotions but not eliminate them. Even though I can justify everything in our plan, deep within me there are big questions about the trip. They center on the expense but there is a deeper thread which is much more difficult to dismiss. Something inside me insists emphatically that I don’t deserve to go. I haven’t earned it.

Why am I so anxious?

Why am I so anxious?

I’m good at rationalizing decisions and explaining away objections. I can counter each one. I can explain that yes we can afford the trip. I can show how responsible and frugal we are in our retirement lifestyle. I can tell myself that after 50 years working and raising a family, we deserve to indulge ourselves just a little. But it doesn’t really help. The nagging is relentless and I’m not persuading myself. Each doubt and criticism I address is replaced by another. Each point I make is challenged again and again. [click to continue…]

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