by Ralph
on December 22, 2010
Don’t take the easy path.
Where ever you are in life, it is easy to say it’s too late for me.
I started my excusitis young.
I first remember thinking that it was too late when I was in high school. I was smart but nerdy and afraid of my shadow. I told myself that I could never be a world beater because I lacked confidence and was afraid to talk to people. I had defined myself out of the first tier of performance and was convinced that I wasn’t very likeable. Everybody else seemed comfortable in their skins and ready to take on the world but I was flawed without the possibility of repair.
Instead of changing, I tried to hide my weakness.
Somehow I moved on and worked what I thought was my strength because school was easy for me. Nothing changed the knowledge that I wasn’t interesting and couldn’t relate to people but I coped because I had to. And moved on with life. I felt very much alone in my feelings. I kept away from the people I envied – and feared rejection from and I also kept away from people I saw as losers like me which didn’t leave me many friends. Because I thought that I was unchangeable, I didn’t change.
I bring up my early experience merely to emphasize that it is easy to tell yourself that it is too late, even when you haven’t even started your adventure. It seems to be part of human nature to doubt your own abilities. It is an easy excuse for doing nothing.
It is never too late.
RCB focuses on retirement lifestyles. Many retirees and those who want to be retirees find it easy to say that it is too late for them. They use it as an excuse for failure. Maybe they don’t have enough money to retire. Maybe they lost their family from having the wrong priorities. Maybe they damaged their health. Maybe they lost their reason to live. Whatever the circumstances, at the end of your life, it is easy to tell yourself that if is too late and give up because you don’t see any way to repair the damage. You may not know any way to fix your life but I sincerely believe that you want someone to tell you that it is possible- that it isn’t too late. And to kick your butt until you wake up.
That is my message today- for anyone of any age who is thinking that it is too late for them to…….
So do something!
It is never too late to take control of your life. In fact, it’s about time.
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by Ralph
on December 20, 2010
Do you have it figured out?
Do you ever ponder the meaning of life? I know I haven’t spent much time thinking about it so far I have spent most of mine working through the numbers, meeting situations as they occur and basically winging each event. Sometimes I look back and try to appraise my performance; other times I just breathe a sigh of relief and hope I can get through the next challenge. That has pretty much been my life to date. Any successes have been inadvertent-because my eye hasn’t been on the prize. Truthfully, I’ve spent much of it without any idea about what was important- or maybe more accurately, thinking that the wrong thing was important.
Retirement helps you focus.
If retirement makes any sense, then it is the elimination of complications because you no longer have to worry about a job to provide your living expenses. That job was always a false god encouraging me to think that job success would create life success. Looking back, it is clear that job success if a fine thing but it can never compensate for failing with your family or community.
Losing your independence sharpens it.
This week provided a window of clarity as I spent two days in the hospital for observation. Two days of tests and being treated as an invalid were very enlightening about what is important to me. It all ended well. I got free, even if it took two days. None of the tests indicated a problem. I received confirmation that I do my job as a father and husband. I learned how important to the rest of my life it is to maintain my health.
Two Lessons
My family supported me in my weakness and got me to the medical facility for treatment. My long distance son was ready to fly home until I dissuaded him. It was very gratifying to feel loved and appreciated in spite of all my failings in the past. It was worth spending two days in the purgatory of a hospital bed to get confirmation of my family’s love.
The other lesson surprised me more. If you don’t maintain your health, it is impossible to retain your independence. It has been my goal to avoid any prescription drugs and so far I have succeeded. The hospital nurses were astounded that I take no drugs. They said that the average person of my age is taking five or six prescription medications. I had no idea. I have been spared the complications and dependency that those drugs create. I want to take credit for at least some of that accomplishment even granting that I may have been given some pretty good genes. Beyond drug dependency, however, there is the physical dependency when you don’t maintain good body strength and balance. Once that is gone, my independence is gone as well. Two days in the hospital made it very clear what you lose when your body is dependent on health practitioners for life. You lose control of your life.
What is important for me.
So as I enjoy my freedom and independence today after talking to my long distance son on the phone and having brunch with my wife and other son, I am beginning to feel that I finally understand the meaning of life or at least a big part of it. There is certainly more but it all builds on the base of my family and my health. I would never have chosen to spend two days in the hospital but now that it is over, it is clear that those two days have done more to clarify my understanding of life and success than the past year of retirement. It makes me even more determined to keep that control as long as I can.
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