by Ralph
on June 18, 2009
In high school, we moved to an eighty acre farm of our own. I got a room of my own and a new friend – our Farmall Cub. During the summers, you would often find me mowing our pastures (mowing cuts down weeds and lets the grass grow better). About 40 of the acres were pasture, so this wasn’t a trivial pastime. I picked this picture because it shows the type of mower we had. Ours looke pretty much like this except it was red. It had a big rotary blade and you could raise or lower it to change the height of the mowed grass or to make it easier to get through places where the weeds were very high.
This was my first motorized vehicle and I got pretty comfortable even on slopes like the dam for our pond. In those days (late 50’s) nobody even thought of carrying music players with you and though we were just beginning to see tiny (5″x7″) transistor radios. Even an ipod might not be effective on a Cub because it makes a lot of noise. In those days we didn’t expect to be entertained every moment of the day so I was content to daydream as I mowed.
I can always claim that I was meditating.
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by Ralph
on June 17, 2009
Photo by Erica Marshall
Stay away from advice!
After long years receiving and giving advice, my suggestion is:
Don’t give advice and even more important don’t take it–
dummy
unless you asked for it.
Advice is always easy to give. The world is full of people who are messing up – at least from your perspective. It’s very easy to suggest ways that they can improve what they are doing and it feels very satisfying because you are helping people who need your help. Or do they?
The problem here is that:
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They might not know that they need advice.
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They might not care to make any changes.
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You might be totally wrong.
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They may not value your judgment
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They won’t take it anyway.
Think back to the last time someone gave you advice. Did you ask for it? Did your respect it? Did you follow it?
Butt out!
Most of us don’t really want advice and if we do, we are choosy about who we ask to give it. It has to someone whose judgment we respect and who we think will carefully evaluate our specific situation. And it has to be someone who is willing to listen to us before solving our problem Finally, when we ask someone for advice, it must be from someone who has proven that they know something about the decision and with some proven success with this situation. If it’s about a marriage, we don’t ask advice from our twice-divorced Uncle Joe.
It is easy to find advice. The media are full of it – in any sense you choose. So are your friends and family. But mostly, we don’t want advice. We just want a chance to talk through a problem, or a decision we have already made
Sometimes, however, you know that you have to do something different. You know that you are on a wrong path but you don’t know how to get off. Who do you listen to then?
My advice – and remember that I just advised you not to take or give any – is nobody. You probably don’t know anybody with any experience that would be useful. What you need is knowledge And my suggestion?
Read a book.
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