The opportunity to share thoughts and experiences with people who are too far away to meet in person is invaluable. The web facilitates meeting and actually getting to know people with different experiences all around the world. Still nothing ever matches the impact of face to face conversations; meeting people in person, shaking hands, and seeing how thoughts express themselves through facial expressions and tones of voice. Magic happens. Continue reading
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My wife of 40 years and I are not compatible. I have long avoided any kind of personality test that purports to match people by personality because what has kept us going for all these years is the fantasy that we actually like each other. I don’t want to be confused by the facts. Let me explain.
Over the course of our long shared life experience, we have discovered one thing that we enjoy doing together- visiting art museums. Everything else is like walking a minefield. She doesn’t like any activity that involves sitting in a crowd. This lets out concerts, sports events, political rallies and so on. Her idea of a perfect day is to read a book by the fire and listen to the rain. Me, I’m OK with that but I like to get out once in a while. Early on, I stopped trying to get her to go to events and I stopped going myself because I felt bad when I enjoyed myself alone. Continue reading
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It is hard for me to let go and relax. I am uncomfortable whenever I feel that somebody else might set the course. I struggle with this but often just isolate myself so that I don’t lose control. This is a big barrier to close relationships.
I keep trying to get outside my box and escape my comfort zone but those habits you form over a lifetime are hard to break. Continue reading
My retirement so far is ready, fire, aim. I know where I want to go; need to go. I just don’t know how to get there. My activity here at RCB is helping me find clear direction and take action. I don’t like today’s post. It isn’t engaging because I just don’t have that ability just now. I wish it were better. I wish I knew answers instead of just questions. I wish I could suggest a program to follow the numbers and wrap up my life (or yours) with a bow and a flourish. I am making it up as I go. I do, at least, have a mission. Today many people retire without a mission and without a mission they leave the world unnoticed. That is a tragedy. So read today’s post with charity. Make an effort to understand what I am struggling to say. I think the message is important and I don’t think it is one that you normally hear. There are very few role models to follow and no step by step program. I won’t have a successful retirement (and life) if I don’t clean up all the messes I have made up to this point. That may not sound like much of a mission but it is more than most people have. I’m looking for inspiration and others with a mission and I hope they will be looking for me too. I’ll be sharing my efforts, failures and successes and I want to hear yours. Continue reading
The man leaning against the railing on the street in Walnut Creek was an Army buddy from 45 years ago. I hadn’t seen him for at least twenty years but who else could it be. The voice hadn’t changed. In 1966 we were both 25 year old draftees into the Army doing Basic and Advanced Training at Fort Leonard Wood. Being 25 and in basic training with 18 year-olds is culture shock and finding someone in the same boat helped keep me sane through those traumatic months. It is amazing how just a few months together at a critical time can form a bond even if life and my personality flaws made it difficult to maintain that bond over time. Continue reading