Tag Archives: advice

Retirement Advice: Know what’s important.

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Hats off to Joan

I rail about the benefits of blogging for ‘mature’ people “Why do I rail?” you ask. If you have followed me for a while you know that it is just what I do but there is reasoning behind it. Blogging or reading blogs is a good way to get your thinking right or to understand the thinking of other people. If you don’t have anything to say yourself then you should be reading the blogs of people who do. I can’t tell you how much I have learned about life from connecting with other people through their blogs. Through their thoughtful posts I can learn how they approach life and make real decisions. I like to think that each of us should make our lives extraordinary (sometimes I say outrageous) but it is hard to do because society wants us to be responsible and cautious. I think that you need to do things that you will remember all your days with great pleasure instead of not doing them and regretting what you could have done. One of the bloggers I read regularly did just that and she shared her decision process with her readers. Joan looked at her choices and rejected conventional wisdom. Joan decided to be outrageous. Continue reading →

Originally posted 2010-10-29 09:38:24. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Retirement Advice: Today I have nothing to say.

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You don’t know anything to write about?

Retirement! It seems like everything has been said and all the topics covered. What more can there be? It had me stumped. Then I saw the problem. I understood what needs to be discussed. It is really very simple but it is also the key to success.  The question I need to ask is this: What is it that I don’t know yet which will change my life?

It has been a frustrating several days. I have been bumbling around hoping for inspiration; my mind flitting from one topic to another without anything seeming right. I have straightened my desktop, filed the paid bills and searched the web for ideas. Nothing turned up. My mind was still blank. Continue reading →

Retirement Advice: Savor the Present.

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What’s the rush?

Why is it that the future always seems more important than the present? I’ve spent a good part of my life looking forward to future events. When my kids were infants just eating and pooping, I used to think about what fun it would be to play with them as toddlers. Then, of course when they got to the toddler stage, I couldn’t wait until they could play catch. In high school I was longing to get out of my small town and go to college and then when I got to college I was anxious to start my life. It seems like a good part of my life has been dedicated to anticipating future events and discounting the present. It is, of course, good to look forward to things and to plan your life but life is more than anticipation. Looking back I can see the downside to all this future think; I never learned to enjoy the present. Continue reading →

Retirement Advice: Think young.

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You can’t stop the aging process for your body. You can control the age of your mind.

It is natural to notice the aging process, particularly when you get to my age. Joints aren’t dependable and in addition they creak and ache. You don’t have the balance you remember and some of the muscle strength is just gone and catches you by surprise at awkward moments. Whatever you do to stop aging, your best efforts only slow the process, My plan is to resist the inevitable with downright pigheaded refusal to accept my desline. When I succumb – and succumb I must to the relentless forces of nature – it will be because it is all over. So I plan and attempt a 12 mile hike at 7,000 feet. People tell me that I am crazy to believe I can do this but in my mind I believed. Even managing only half the hike, I still believe I can do it next time. Just a bit more conditioning and an earlier start and I can go all the way. There will be a next time.

So what makes me so crazy? What compels me to fight the aging process? I can hear some of the answers questioning my sanity, intelligence and judgment. Go ahead. Tear me down. I am not buying any of it. My secret is that I know that my body and my mind are distinctly separate. My body may age but my mind will be whatever age I want it to be. I can completely control my thinking, my attitude and my actions. My mind is better than it ever was. I have a better understanding of myself and what I want than I did at twenty. And I fully understand the power of my mind to make the world that I want and to make my body perform beyond its limits.

I am not buying into old thinking. I am not accepting limits – even the ones my body tries to impose because I know the secret that society tries to hide from us about aging. We accept the lie that aging is physical; that people get old because their bodies get old and that when you get chronologically old you will then think old as well. You don’t have to age mentally.  It is a decision.    Just look around and observe how many people act old that aren’t old. They have no physical reason to think old and yet they are closed and negative about life and their future. You aren’t catching me in that mode. People may look at me and see an aging physical wreck, but this aging physical wreck will be living life full out, foolish as I may appear. Go on. Tell me I’m crazy. I dare you.

Retirement Advice: Think young.

How to have a long and healthy retirement – moderation

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“Moderation is a fatal thing: nothing succeeds like excess.” Oscar Wilde

Before you adopt Oscar Wilde’s philosophy as your life motto, be reminded that Oscar Wilde died at age 45 in exile and poverty. He was a flamboyant man shining a bright flame over his life but he wasn’t in it for the long term. If you want to live a long life or you want to be surrounded by people who love you, Oscar doesn’t have much to tell you. Continue reading →

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

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The obstacle you can’t avoid

You Dont Know What You Dont Know

What am I missing?

At every stage in life we face an incredible obstacle that limits our ability to grow and develop. We don’t know what we don’t know. And even worse since we don’t know what we don’t know, we don’t know where to look for it or even what that it is that we should look for. Continue reading →

Blast from the Past

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It has been over a year since I started Ralph Carlson Blog. Over that time I have tried some things and made some adjustments and changes in my schedule and the topics for the posts. It is very much still a work in progress.  Some of the posts are worth bringing back once in a while so, from time to time, I like to select a few posts to highlight in a a review for new readers or long time readers who may have missed them.

Todays selection begins with The Comfort Zone, that happy place where everything seems so warm and fuzzy that it is hard to start anything new. Of course, one of the big reasons why you stay in the Comfort Zone in the first place is your fear of Messing up and until you Show Up, nothing is possible.  Neither do you want to procrastinate about moving forward to your goals but I have found that sometimes procrastination can be a good thing. Before you take any of this advice too seriously,

however, take this final advice on advice.

If you can relate to any of this, please leave a comment, particularly procrastination.  Thanks.

Blast from the Past

On Advice

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Stay away from advice!

After long years receiving and giving advice, my suggestion is:

Don’t give advice and even more important don’t take it-

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unless you asked for it.

Advice is always easy to give. The world is full of people who are messing up – at least from your perspective. It’s very easy to suggest ways that they can improve what they are doing and it feels very satisfying because you are helping people who need your help.  Or do they?

The problem here is that:

  1. They might not know that they need advice.

  2. They might not care to make any changes.

  3. You might be totally wrong.

  4. They may not value your judgment

  5. They won’t take it anyway.

Think back to the last time someone gave you advice. Did you ask for it? Did your respect it? Did you follow it?

Butt out!

Most of us don’t really want advice and if we do, we are choosy about who we ask to give it. It has to someone whose judgment we respect and who we think will carefully evaluate our specific situation. And it has to be someone who is willing to listen to us before solving our problem Finally, when we ask someone for advice, it must be from someone who has proven that they know something about the decision and with some proven success with this situation. If it’s about a marriage, we don’t ask advice from our twice-divorced Uncle Joe.

It is easy to find advice. The media are full of it – in any sense you choose. So are your friends and family. But mostly, we don’t want advice. We just want a chance to talk through a problem, or a decision we have already made

Sometimes, however, you know that you have to do something different. You know that you are on a wrong path but you don’t know how to get off. Who do you listen to then?

My advice – and remember that I just advised you not to take or give any – is nobody. You probably don’t know anybody with any experience that would be useful. What you need is knowledge And my suggestion?

Read a book.