Making the right choice for your life.
Never trust anyone over 30.
Once upon a time a young man, maybe not unlike my younger self, was still free of the burdens of responsibility and accountability that accumulate with time and experience and without the cynical armor that develops with repeated failures. He considered this maxim as he approached his birthday, pondered it’s reality and told himeslf that he would be different.
Exploring the possibilities of life,
expedient and convenient are often more appealing paths than hard work and ambitious discipline. Without thinking too much about it, the young man’s thinking shifts. He isn’t aware of the change- or if he is he can rationalize that he is just being responsible and mature in his thinking. He isn’t taking the easy road. He passed the barrier and deceived himself that it didn’t matter. [click to continue…]
Tranquil Brugge Belgium
On a one month trip there is a point where I stop being a visitor and start being a resident. I am still a visitor and a tourist- not even remotely a native- but my focus changes. I feel at home. I know where to find food and supplies and where the ATM’s are. I know the main landmarks and can navigate comfortably and keep my bearings while roaming. I don’t need my maps because instead of mysteries around each corner there are places I want to know better. In Brugge, today is that day. [click to continue…]
In three weeks we leave on another trip. This time it’s to Belgium with a two day stop in Istanbul. I’m excited about the trip but I’m also anxious. The reservations are made. There are just a few more details to handle. It ought to be a time for pleasant anticipation as we prepare for an adventure Instead I am anguishing over details and second guessing four readiness for the trip. It won’t stop until our bags are checked at the airport. Until then I can mange the emotions but not eliminate them. Even though I can justify everything in our plan, deep within me there are big questions about the trip. They center on the expense but there is a deeper thread which is much more difficult to dismiss. Something inside me insists emphatically that I don’t deserve to go. I haven’t earned it.
Why am I so anxious?
I’m good at rationalizing decisions and explaining away objections. I can counter each one. I can explain that yes we can afford the trip. I can show how responsible and frugal we are in our retirement lifestyle. I can tell myself that after 50 years working and raising a family, we deserve to indulge ourselves just a little. But it doesn’t really help. The nagging is relentless and I’m not persuading myself. Each doubt and criticism I address is replaced by another. Each point I make is challenged again and again. [click to continue…]