Leaders are Team Players

300px The Three Stooges Leaders are Team Players
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Life is a team sport

One of the problems with taking charge of your life is that by focusing on yourself you may inadvertently shut yourself off from a big and important segment of life-your team. Living a remarkable life is a team sport. It just isn’t possible to play alone. Quarterbacks are important to football teams but so is the lineman who keeps the quarterback from being sacked. When you set out to create an outrageous lifestyle, the focus is on you. It’s all about what you want; who you want to be and what you need to do to make that lifestyle happen. It has to be that way because you are the only thing you can control. It is necessary to push yourself and focus your efforts because you know better than anyone else just how much you need to improve. And only you can change you. Continue reading

Should you take a new path?

300px Constitution Trail 007 02 Should you take a new path?
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I’m not much into poetry but this poem by Robert Frost has always inspired me to think about the consequences of each decision.  Once that one decision is made, the world around you and the possibilities for the future change- for better or for worse.

The Road Less Traveled Continue reading

Who defines your personality? It’s not the stars.

521027252 cffd1603f7 m Who defines your personality?  Its not the stars.
Image by Computer Science Geek via Flickr

My Stars have shifted!

I was surprised to learn recently that revisionists have attacked Astrology and added a new constellation- Ophiuchus – to the mix. As you might expect this creates quite a mess and one of the results is that I learn I am really a Leo and not the Virgo I always believed myself to be. Oh, I know that astrology is bunk but still, I always accepted the Virgo generalizations as accurate assessment of my personality. So what do I make of astrology now that the revisions evict me from Virgo to Leo? If I am really a Leo then why was I so compatible with the characteristics of a Virgo? Inquiring minds want to know. Continue reading

Looking back over one year of retirement!

3996006572 922da392c8 m Looking back over one year of retirement!
Image by Pink Sherbet Photography via Flickr

It is another anniversary for Ralph Carlson Blog

It has been one year since I retired for the second (and last) time.  It has been a time of growth, challenge, false starts, stumbles.  Now I’m looking back over the year to PDCA my efforts.  I started by looking at the year at Ralph Carlson Blog and discovered that this month marks the end of year two for the blog.  When I started, I knew little about blogging.  I thought I knew a lot because I had another blog for nearly two years before that.  I had learned that I needed to host my own blog and the advantages of the WordPress environment.   Over the year I learned that I didn’t know s*** about blogging but I’m a stubborn cuss and I pushed myself even when I didn’t know my goal or how to proceed.

What I learned this year Continue reading

How being certain you are right can cause a big problem

Forest 300x225 How being certain you are right can cause a big problemLearning or re-learning a life lesson can hurt.

Another bonus from putting yourself in new situations is life lessons – or in my case relearning one that I had forgotten. My hike to Bassi Falls involved travel of about 50 miles to the trail head which took me far from my usual haunts. It took a while to actually locate the trail down a one lane road with ad hoc parking on the shoulder. Bassi Falls is a popular destination so there were lots of cars parked at the trail head and many people enjoying the falls.

What do you do when your car won’t start?

My lesson began when I returned to my car and turned the key. Nothing happened. No clicks. No whirrs. No comfortable engine sounds. I was stuck. Common sense might suggest opening the hood and checking the engine. I was beyond common sense, however, because I knew the cause of my problem.

This wasn’t my first time.

One week earlier, I had the same experience. I was picking up a friend and when we returned to the car, it refused to start. We discovered that the battery was dead. I replaced the battery and everything was fine. I decided that the battery was the problem and didn’t have the car checked for other problems. So at Bassi Falls, I assessed the situation and decided that my car had some electrical problem which was draining batteries. There was no need to check under the hood and no reason to think that I could jump start the car. I needed a tow. There was no doubt in my mind. Brilliant!

Denial is not just a river in Egypt

To my amazement, my cellphone worked and I called for a tow and waited. I had something to read. I was surrounded by beauty. There was no place I had to be. Friendly people asked if I needed help, or a jump. I thanked them and told them it wouldn’t work because I knew what was wrong.

The cold wet mackerel

Finally the tow truck arrived and while the driver was hooking me up, he turned the key. It didn’t start but this time lights flashed. He suggested that I try a jump start. I was no longer so confident. I agreed and popped the hood. I looked at the battery and saw that one of the connectors was loose. I pushed it down and tried the ignition again. My car started like a champ.

Nothing damaged but my ego

In the end it was a cheap lesson. The tow truck was covered by insurance. I didn’t have to pay the towing charges to get my car out of the wilderness. I spend a relaxing afternoon in the woods. Looking back, there were so many opportunities to challenge my belief that I knew what was wrong. I could have looked under the hood when the car wouldn’t start. I could have accepted the offer of a jump start which would have made me look under the hood. In every instance, I refused to challenge my belief that I knew the cause of my problem. I was arrogant and even worse, I was completely wrong.

Be picky when you hang with cocky bastards

It is hard not to have an admiration for the cocky bastard who is always right, annoying as they may be but what do you think about a cocky bastard who is wrong? You want to stay as far away from him and his destructive ego as you can. When the sorry individual is you, the best you can do is take that ego down a peg or two and be open to the possibilities, even when they seem unlikely or impossible Going forward I need to remember this experience and tell myself to be open to the alternatives and not to jump quickly to a conclusion no matter how reasonable the explanation may seem. So that is my life lesson, but what about you/ Have you had a similar experience that helped you be open to possibilities? If yes, then share it in a comment.